I am restless.
I hadn’t really seriously considered what would happen when I returned home. I had general plans that involved getting a cat, doing online dating again, and joining the church. Interestingly I no longer am sure that I want to do any of those things. It has been much harder than I expected to rejoin normal life. As I told my colleague it’s strange to have left Portland feeling 100% satisfied with my life, only to return and not be so sure anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy, I’m just left wondering, what else is there? What are the other possibilities for my life? It’s disconcerting because it’s more comfortable to be feeling 100% satisfied. I’ve worked incredibly hard to get the life I have. I finally have a job that I love, a home that brings me comfort, and an amazing group of friends who bring me joy. Yet there’s some piece of me that wants to uproot all of that, to challenge myself and what my life could be.
As the days move on, I find myself relaxing back into daily life a little bit more, but I’m also hoping to hold onto the adventurous side of myself that had been in dormition for the last few years. I want to take some leaps of faith, challenge myself, and just see what happens.
Also, I want to save money for another trip. Next time… Morocco? Thailand? Peru?
Here are some things I miss about Turkey:
-Fresh fruit and nuts everywhere, not just at the farmers market once a week
Things I don’t miss about Turkey:
-Getting hit on every second by all of the merchants
Things I love about being home:
-My friends and family
-My bath tub
Here’s to new adventures, at home and abroad.